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The Ragnarok of Armies

KLONDIKE, CPA Central Headquarters – Club Penguin Armies have been the victim of many unsolvable problems. Today, many wonder and predict when their death will come, especially considering that most agree Armies are not as fun as they used to be. The community is getting more unfriendly and older, all the while Club Penguin is growing smaller, less popular, and more restrictive, among problems like multilogging that have not been solved to this day, is the reason Armies are dying. I do not think this is up for debate here.

Time. Time is the harbinger of the end to everything man has ever known. Time cannot be purchased, sold, or traded. It is nearly impossible to understand, yet explicable in every way shape and form. How does this apply to us though? While it is clear that with enough time, all Club Penguin Armies will cease to exist, it is highly likely that anyone and everyone can increase the lifespan of the model for ages to come. Club Penguin Armies have been around for a mere eight or so years. That is maybe a fraction of a second in the grand scheme of things. To us however, it feels like ages ago since we posted our first comments on a wordpress blog to join the Armies we know so well today. Some of us have stuck around for enough time to see our own selves mature with the Club Penguin Armies. People would even argue that we’ve been here for far too long, but I digress.

-Capncook, in their article The Inevitable Demise of the Club Penguin Army

So, what if I told you, there was one simple solution that could solve every single problem Armies face?

Before I was a reporter for CPAC, I used to be in Armies. I was in the Army of Club Penguin, as many have been, and some other Armies, one of those being mine, before quitting. I continued checking back in this community and keeping up to date. I was witnessing the dwindling of the community firsthand, just like you, as it was barraged by snowballs of the same old problems. It is only now, as I am writing this post, that I have come up with a solution, and have decided to share it.

Norse lore tells of a Ragnarok: the expected yet unstoppable destruction of the world, of which much is known about. Before Ragnarok, there will be fierce battles, bloodshed, and death throughout the world, just like the battles between Club Penguin Armies. There will be a bitter winter, which can be used as a metaphor for the dwindling Army Community. Natural disasters and floods will top off all that destruction by making it ten times worse. This is when the end of the world, the Ragnarok, will come. Afterwards, the world will begin anew and fertile. It is time for the Club Penguin Army world to begin anew and fertile. How, do you ask? Simple. We must abandon the Club Penguin sphere once and for all.

Many people do not wish to believe it. They are stuck in their stubborn ways. Why change when you’re perfectly content with where you are? We as humans spend most of our lives seeking perfect contention. However, what many of us realize is that once we are content with where we stand, we become unhappy. As a result, we seek to change ourselves and sometimes others around us. After all, a band never releases the same album twice. American Football teams never use the same play twice in the same game. Sometimes that change is radical, drastic and affects everyone, other times it is gradual and slow. Club Penguin Armies live in a euphoric state of contention and when change is brought to their minds, they rationalize their conservatism essentially by saying that nothing is wrong. What they don’t understand is that everything is wrong.

-Capncook, in their article The Inevitable Demise of the Club Penguin Army

The Night Rebels, when they were leading the Top Ten, averaged about 16 people at events, which is nothing compared to what the numbers used to be in the good old days. The biggest Armies are smaller than ever. Ways to cheat such as multilogging, hacking, defacing, and autotyping remain prevalent. Despite many server drafts, nobody can agree upon who owns servers. Recruiting is almost impossible. The safety of younger people who join Armies is at risk.

So, if we leave, where will we go? The Club Penguin sphere is an outdated platform who rejects the very notion of Armies. We need a platform that will not only support us, but will cater to our needs. What about the links and images? Either they can be changed, or CP can come to mean something else: Courageous Pillagers perhaps? I apologize if that offends you; I’m on a time crunch, you see.

NationStates is this magic place I speak of. “NationStates is a nation simulation game. Create a nation according to your political ideals and care for its people. Or deliberately oppress them. It’s up to you.” If we switch to NationStates, multilogging, hacking, and defacing would be history, especially considering there are rules and strict enforcement against the equivalents. Autotyping would be pointless, and there would be a clear and easy way to identify the equivalents of servers. Recruiting would be much easier, and because of the older platform, age and safety won’t be an issue. Also, they will be far more educational and will fit in snugly with this community. Now, before we make a switch to NationStates, I understand people have to become acquainted with it. So, I encourage you to join this fun community and tell other people in Armies about it. This has to happen before any move to it, but that’s up to you guys, not me.

Armies on NationStates, or NationStates Armies (N.S.A. – haha), would play the Invasion Game. To play, participants (who control nations) must join the World Assembly (which is basically the United Nations of NationStates). Only one nation can be in the World Assembly (W.A.) per I.P. Address, which prevents the multilogging equivalent. Multilogging would still be possible, of course, but if someone was caught doing so, their account would face serious penalties. Anyway, nations in the W.A. move into a region (a group of nations, which would be the equivalent of servers) and vote for the Delegate (the leader of the region) representing their Army. If the region is seized, there are great ways to defend it from being re-occupied, but this is not a tactical manual, rather a brief tutorial. You can find plenty of tactical manuals on NationStates. For example, here is one that goes into more detail about the Invasion Game.

Of course, NationStates has its flaws, so for things the authorities of NationStates can’t cover, a self-imposed Army government can. I’ll refer to this government as Army Control. Army Control can impose rules and if they aren’t followed, penalties like being blacklisted from the Top Tens can be enforced. I imagine Army Control being a republic, where members of the Top Ten Armies vote for the members of Army Control. Speaking of the Top Tens, how many regions an Army controls and how big they are would most certainly be factors in boosting your rank. How to defeat an Army would be something along the lines of seizing all their regions. Basically, an Army is a collection of regions, which in turn is a collection of nations. Pretty weird, huh?

So what about recruiting? Piece of cake. All you gotta do is send telegrams (also known as private messages), post on the forums, and maybe make some allies who will spread the word. Simple! Uniforms would be unnecessary, but flags could be used as uniforms if Armies wanted to keep them.

So, what do you think? Do you like the idea of switching to NationStates, do you want to move to a different game, or do you want to give the Club Penguin sphere another chance?

Onlooking Snow

CPA Central Reporter

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