CPAC Comedy Central #1


KLONDIKE, CPA Central, Bam’s Shack – With the recent announcement of CPAC’s “Comedy Central” plans and about 2 days to prepare the first and more than likely last adaption of this column is here! Prepare to be offended and triggered as much as possible.

Due to the given time and extremely amazing persistance of the CPAC staff I’ve managed to crumble up as much “Satire” and “Comedic” things in my arsenal. Due to this i’ll be throwing out a few items in my comedic arsenal to test out the waters this week.

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Part 1

Short Story Time

Trader’s Last Chance

By Bam

It was a stormy night on the server Mammoth, Trader – recently being under fire for another multilogging scandal along with his dear old friend Badboy betray him, Trader looked on in the distance with distrust and disappointment. Trader thought to himself “First I failed at climbing that pole and now I failed at Multilogging” catching his breath almost in tears, he heard a huge crash – suddenly Joseph appeared behind him stating firmly “hey p*ssy UMA will take you’re gay ass”. Trader almost fainting in joy jumping up and proclaiming “Really! Wow I’ll make penguins right away! I’ll even quit playing Roblox!” Trader then thought deeply of his unseen hatred for his once friend – Badboy who had since their departure proclaimed himself to be “Multilog Free” as well as a week later being overthrown for unanswered reasons.. Trader quickly plotted his revenge while he spammed created fresh multilogs preparing for the incredible return.

Everything had seem to have been going fine until the worst of Trader’s fear came true – Joseph firmly commanded trader “Show me you’re screen whilest we lead during todays event” Trader sweating immensely scrambling to search for his 2nd laptop, unable to find it trader was nearly heart broken and out of options – until his mother slammed open the door stating “Hey Trey baby I got you’re laptop cleaned out and all those viruses from the Granny porn webpages got removed!” Trader nearly dying of happiness rushed to his mother hugging her and crying out “thank you mom now I can make sure UMA achieves first!”. Afterwards UMA had an extremely successful return following Traders extensive tab switching and key smashing, Thanks to this UMA was able to successfully reach 2nd in the next Top Ten – all while Badboy lie in defeat on the outskirts of Summit…

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Part 2

Incredible CPACCC News

Due to my extensive knowledge and amazing graphic ability, I’ve decided to start my weekly CPACCC flyer’s in hopes to bring out the best of our almighty staff and community members! This could perhaps be the best or the worst thing ever depending on who you are or how you handle yourself. Be careful, next week it could be you!

To start off our amazing column this week I decided it would be best to start off with our 2 incredible CEO’s who are just doing a fantastic job (after all they hired me so thats pretty good right?)

The First and Second edition of JewPac Weekly has arrived;

Our first issue in line is our grand CPAC CEO Jodie, who went from exposed multilogging witch to CPAC CEO/Goddess

And our second and amazing issue is on the OTHER CPAC CEO, Tax!

Congrats on recently achieving Legend & somehow nabbing CPAC CEO out of no where! You inspire us all to never stop sucking up to people above or around you!

With this short and cancerous post coming to a near end, I found myself randomly doing more and more retarded graphics to preoccupy my time. I hope you all truly enjoy this comedic genius and retarded comic/graphics I’ve made to take up as many words and space on this post as possible – KYS

Literally my daily life:

Well thats it for now, if you’d like to help out or be in next weeks edition (that is if I don’t get fired for verbally abusing our current CEO and making a retarded story. 

Please Kill Me

//===|| – Bam – ||====

CPAC Associate Producer 

~ Words of Inspiration from my friends ~


9 Responses

  1. I touch myself to 10 and under porn

    • Ethnically Ambigious person*

    • ^ Who told you?

  2. i touch myself to pictures of justin bieber

    • I do too.

  3. African Nigmerican

  4. That clomun will be so great.

  5. I just touch myself

  6. yeah thats right fk you bumhead. you bum lookin brun you smells like poop.

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