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Doritos Declare War on the Water Vikings; Tensions with UMA

UNSPECIFIED SERVER, Doritos Empire- The new generation of the Doritos Army has been kicked off with a bang, after declaring war on one army, and have increased pains with another.  How will this pan out for the Doritos?

The Doritos Army recently held the first invasion on Water Vikings with an invasion of Ascent, where the Water Vikings no showed.  Since then, DCP has invaded 3 more servers (Polar, Snowflake, and Avalanche) and have claimed victory on 3 of the invasions they’ve held.  They surrendered to WV on the invasion of Polar, according to the Water Vikings website.

Doritos invading Ascent from the Water Vikings.

Confusing times have been happening with the unsteady relationships of DCP and UMA, as DCP had declared war on UMA, and UMA also scheduled invasions on the DCP Empire.  But for an unknown reason, invasions on both sides have been taken down.  The war response post from UMA is currently still up on the UMA site, and an excerpt can be seen below.

Note: The following contains graphic language and has not been touched by any of the CPAC staff, viewer discretion is advised.

I am currently writing this with exhaustion as I have just been suddenly awoken almost by fate by my slumber, UMA creator Pink Mafias instructed me to invade and conquer the Doritos empire… “Hello, Mach,” a powerful and commanding voice said to me. I knew instantly that in this nightmare turned dream, I was speaking to Pink Mafias himself. “I instruct you to destroy the Doritos at all costs.” I felt almost hypnotized, and as if out of nowhere, Pink Mafias said to me these exact words.

AHHHHHHHH MACH👌👌👌👌 MY NIGGA😏😏 THIS BITCH BOY MUSTAPHA IS TRIGGERED😡😡😡 LOLOLOL 😂😂😂 MY NIGGA👳💣👳💣 HE MAD AS FUCK WITH HIS FAKE 🚯 ASS NULL HACKERS AND HIS OVERPRICED BOOTER LOOOOL 😠😠😠😠😠😠 MY 😡😡 NIGGA MUSTAPHA 💦💦💦 SWEATING OUT HERE CUZ HE KNOWS📵📵📵📵 HE AIN’T VALID 💯💯 WITH THAT TURKISH ASS🚮 SELF LMAO😉😉 . MY NIGGA MUSTA CAN’T DO SHIT 💩💩💩💩 EVERYONE SEES👀👀💀💀 PAST HIS LIES👿 AND HIS MULTILOGS👽👾💇💆👸 AND HE’S A PATHETIC ASS HOE LIKE HONEST😴😴😴 LY FUCKING SHIT😤 ON HIS ARMY UNTIL HE RAGE QUITS. 🙏🙏🙏👌😍

~Excerpt from the UMA war response post, full post can be seen here.

It is still unclear why the invasions of UMA and DCP have been taken down.  I talked to Mustapha10, Doritos Leader, about this situation and he told me it’s because the Doritos are at war with the Water Vikings.

The Water Vikings on the other hand, have been taking shots at DCP and look to be ready to challenge the Doritos Army.  They claim that the Doritos play “hide and seek” during battles and that they “don’t even know how to battle”.

I managed to grab an interview with Katie, Water Vikings leader.

Interview with Katie, Water Vikings Leader

CPAC: What are your thoughts on DCP?

Katie: DCP returns, we know they’re gonna declare war on us, they threaten, they get outnumbered and tired of multilogging, they lose, they die, and then restart the cycle.

CPAC:  Do the Water Vikings have a strategy for this war?

Katie: To win, again.  As usual, just like every other DCP war we have.  Probably expose them again, we have a detective who’s pretty good at that kind of stuff.

CPAC: Will WV seek to reach a treaty with DCP, or will this be a ‘war to end all wars’ if you will?

Katie: Probably just a treaty.  DCP keeps going after us so there will probably never be a ‘war to end all wars’.  Maybe they’ll get off our backs and bother someone else in the long run, ya never know.

CPAC: Lastly, is there a certain size you want WV to attain while in this war?

Katie: If you could measure how gay Bepboy is, that much.

CPAC: Any last words?

Katie: ily bep

Katie appears to be confident that they can beat DCP in this war, and claims that the Water Vikings can easily beat the Doritos, as well as max huge sizes that compare to Bepboy’s feelings toward his gender.

Well what do YOU think?  Will WV beat the Doritos?  Will the Doritos beat WV?  Will tensions between UMA and DCP rise even higher than they are now?  We want to hear from YOU!  Tell us YOUR opinion in the comment section down below.

Doctor Mine Turtle

Club Penguin Army Central Editor-In-Chief

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10 Responses

  1. lolol here we go again

  2. Still no alliance post yet.

  3. DCP is a time-bomb. They won’t last very long.

    • Kiss me under a dimly lit light bulb that lies within your local school’s janitorial closet.

  4. no its to coincidental that RPF have no servers and that doritos choose to invade at this EXACT time.

  5. UMA greatest nation.

    • Ya I agree.

  6. i thought musta went into hiding in a remote pakistani bunker?

  7. the jews are the cause of this war

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