Legends Satire Poem Contest 2016 Results

KLONDIKE, CPA Central HQ – The Legends Satire Poem Contest began nearly two weeks ago, and many community members wrote great poems for their entries. The contest has come to an end, and the three winners have been chosen. Read more to find out who they are. 

The winning poems were chosen using a 3-category judging system. These categories were originality, comedic value, and structure. Without further ado, here are the winners and their poems!

1st Place: Aquabluejet1

Poem: “Iceyfeet1234”

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Iceyfeet is twenty-
No wait twenty two,
He created the Ice Warriors Army,
Like fifty years ago;
What is Iceyfeet’s age you ask?
Nobody will ever know…
He was IW leader forever,
Something I could never achieve,
Because Icey saw nothing in me
That he could believe.
But that’s ok I guess,
Cuz im cool and stuff,
Just look at me, I mean seriously,
I’m really tight and buff.
But seriously, this is about Icey,
And not about me,
He holds the legend status,
On the big CPAC.
Even though IW’s dead,
And it says that it’s not,
Icey is still great,
(Even though he let sprite bot.)
I’m writing this poem now,
And sure as hell it better win,
Because everyone knows,
I am the #1 poem penguin.

Winnings: 500 xats + 3 months adspace on CPAC


2nd Place: Drake8893

Poem: “Waterkid”

yo waddup
its me waterkid, hoe
why my name still be on cpac doe
i guess im still relevant yo
o wait i remember i blow
hey kid want a cp membership
come download this rat and suck mah tip
make a report, i dont give a flip
now ima go on another vaca trip
been abused since birth amirite
dad an indian my mom white
glory to the motha flippin light
rlly tho, click this link i dont bite
lynch them jews yay
gotta build dis wall and make em pay
reading cpac turned me gay
pirate leedur b4 i cast away
o sht troops, its NW. hit the hay!
gonna put gettin my arse pounded on mah resume
now get with the flow
im waterkid fo sho
started from the bottom yo
from hobo to potato

Winnings: 250 xats + 2 months adspace on CPAC


3rd Place: Albaro Lord

Poem: “Mchappy”

You would think that he’d be happy,
But in fact he’s kinda sappy.
Sitting on ACP chat dissing everyone,
When you’re all dried up, you gotta have fun.
Yes, this is a diss track,
Don’t try and clap back.
Come on bro, you already know,
All Hell unleashed when ACP warlords give it a go.
But you’re a little too old and a little too slow,
Now you’re all coked up and ready to blow.
At this point I got more respect for Waterkid and Commando.
Not sorry for that combo,
Gotta make a gay joke, break a rainbow,
Go hump a rhino,
If you’re gonna coup Trader you gotta tiptoe on turbo.
Come on, even Gordan Ramsay didn’t like your risotto.
If this was a rap it’d make it on the radio.
You get the memo?
Haha I’m just kidding bro,
It’s all for show,
I love you though, no homo.

Winnings: A firm handshake + a specially designed participation trophy

Congratulations to the winners, and thank you to everyone who participated! Please let us know if you would like to see more contests like this.

Lorenzo Bean

CPA Central CEO


15 Responses

  1. Drake’s was pretty chill

    • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  2. Congratulations to the winners, all hilarious poems. Specially drake’s one lol.

  3. Aqua, damn that poem was good.

  4. cool

  5. Aqua is damn good. 😂

    • lol

    • Atlest Drake is not ratting people to get money? atlest he isn’t crying like a dog? who’s owner (matt) left em? and he dosen’t have food(money) to eat? get a life Waterkid100/Anthony aka black kid 🙂

      • >black kid
        even if I was black, it would be better than being an red dotted head Indian like yourself. you look like Shrek with glasses m8.

      • Flen, how can you say Waterkid doesn’t have money, when you where begging Joseph to give you money because your parents couldn’t pay rent anymore. Lol


          • Sorry, I didn’t know my apologizes

            • It’s k 🙂

  6. These are awesome, congrats guys!

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