Doritos of CP Declare War on Nacho Empire

SUMMIT, Doritos of CP Capital – Upon advancing in the March Madness tournament, the Doritos of CP have declared war on the falling Nacho Army – who have in the last month and a bit lost two leaders and a UK Leader.

On March 8th, Jester published a declaration of war on the Nacho Empire in cold-blooded hatred using things such as past wars with Nachos as a reason for this one. The post can be seen here below:

Hello, Troops!

The Doritos Empire hereby declare war on the Nachos. They’ve attacked us too many times while we were down, and will never be forgiven. We will never forget their pathetic acts of war that only led to them losing. All those wars thatthey’ve lost weren’t enough because the Doritos are never satisfied.

You attacked us when we were at one of our lowest points in history, and we came back and crushed you and forced you to surrender. You recently planned war against us while we were reopening, and your pathetic mistakes are going to cost you your entire empire. This war will not end until the Nachos surrender to the Doritos Empire.

As you can see, the Doritos appear to be very angry with the Nachos. It also seems that the DCP have purposely waited for the Nachos to fall because they want to treat Nachos how the Nachos treated them. DCP also claim that the Nachos planned to declare war on them but there is no evidence to suggest this as the Nachos actually made a treaty with DCP upon them reopening.

DCP also brought up mention of the last Nacho/DCP war. The war count was highly disputed, and as a result of this, both armies decided to leave everything up to one battle. This one battle saw DCP overcome the Nachos and therefore win the war.

The now expired treaty between DCP and Nachos.

The Nachos vs. DCP war is most likely going to be lopsided seeing how the only time Nachos have been big recently is for tournaments; DCP is however being more consistent with their sizes. This is demonstrated by the Top Ten.

In the March 8th Top Ten, the Doritos of CP managed to get the third spot on the Top Ten while the Nachos only just got in by the skin of their teeth at 10. The clear difference in the armies is visible and has led to some comments questioning DCP for attacking an army while they are down – or “kicking a man while he’s down.”


I managed to speak to the poster of the Declaration, Jester. I asked him questions about things such as why the DCP have decided now of all times to attack the Nachos. This is what he said.

Interview with Jester (Doritos of CP Leader)

Do you think it is right to declare war on Nachos while they are at such a weak point?

They have done it to us in the past… so it’s only right to fire back. Also we intend to do what no army has ever done and that is to put a leader back in power of the Nachos after this war is over. Last year Nachos declared war on us while we weren’t doing great and war really got us motivated at the time to push even harder. So can this happen to the Nachos? Then we’ll be doing them a favour.

What involvement do you have with Camperjohn and Shivertoe? Have they had any impact on you declaring war?

None at all. But I will say this and I hope everyone agrees with me on it, Camperjohn is probably the most loyal Nacho in their whole ranks.

What do you think of the recent loss of Nacho owners such as Laoise, Zing King To and Darkman?

Laoise’s situation was unfortunate, sadly she had to retire for whatever reason. The loss of UK Owners, Zing King To and Laoise is going to have drastic effects on the UK Division. Darkman however I’m sure he’ll be replaced somehow to help their US.

What is your game plan going into the war?

We plan to use all the resources we’ve got meaning DIVISION FLEXIBILITY. To attack US, UK and AUSIA.

As you can see, DCP appears to have different motives that weren’t mentioned in the post exclaiming they want to get a previous Nacho leader back into power… one can only be led to believe this is either Camperjohn or Shivertoe. They also appear to know exactly how they are going to win stating they plan to use all of their divisions.

What do YOU think? Will the Nacho Empire be able to rise once more? Or will the Dorito’s family be too much for the Nachos to handle?

Zing King To

CPAC Associate Producer & SMAP Executive Producer


23 Responses

  1. well said jester

    doritos got this

    • um max u wuz nocho liek yisturday. vury loyil lel

  2. LOL

  3. Lol @ Zing Post Qul – 9/10 Gram – 9/10 Mistakes – 0/10 Information -10/10

    Over all 10/10 Gud job my boy (y)

    • Says the guy who got fired for copying posts.

  4. #Rekt @ DCP

  5. recent Loss of nacho owner Zing
    qouting zing

    • 1. Hardly “months” it was like Early Feb.

      2. It is making a difference. If I was still in Nachos, Nachos would win this war easy.

  6. We’ve got this. GO NACHOS.

  7. Mhm….
    Well, let the best army win.

  8. Shocking.

    • Ikr wanna join?

      • Join what

  9. Great post Zing. Very informative. Good luck to Nachos. Sorry Laoise is a friend of mine so gl to Nachos.


    • Lao quit Nachos.

      • Laoise is pro-nacho though

        • i am her bitch :@

    • Wanna join?

      • Absolutely not.

  10. No need to fear Nachos! DCP will free you from this downfall;It just requires a little force

    • bruh

    • Haha not without a fight!


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