Trampled Underfoot

SUMMIT – A predictable turn of events for the Doritos.

Note: Any ideas or opinion expressed in this post do not reflect of views of CPAC or it’s staff.

Trampled Underfoot

Lord Pain, the leader of the Doritos, was couped earlier today. This coincides with the DCP’s leader elections (and will not effect them aside from Lord Pain being ineligible to run.)

Do not worry DCP, with the removal of Lord Pain we will be restoring our government to it’s full democratic glory. Unfortunately this has to happen on Easter Sunday, a day which is supposed to celebrate peace and love in the world, but we have to do what we have to do to keep DCP ahead.


The DCP leadership unanimously agreed to this decision. Pain was fired for reportedly holding anti-democratic ideas, including those suppressing free thought and elections. The DCP leadership claims this is a new step to their democratic government, with the elections aiding in the new form of democracy. Funbob16, a DCP third-in-command, calls for Tymatt and Paco, former DCP leaders, to return to the army which is now Pain-less.

The DCP urge it’s troops to keep calm and carry on, as this was a very quick and easy decision. Those involved in the coup are reported to be Aaron, Carter, and 13yearoldnoob. This news follows the recent disappearance of Mustapha, a DCP legend, as well as the conclusion of their war with the Hot Sauce Army following an agreement between the two parties. A successor to the leadership has not been named, but will most likely be decided through the elections.



8 Responses

  1. 1st 🙂

  2. he banned me for no reason on chat and now this is what he gets

  3. And this guy thinks he deserves to be legend. Legends don’t get fired from every army they lead.

    • What a LEGENDary PAIN in my ass…

  4. I don’t believe in full democracy in armies. People just make stupid decisions sometimes.

  5. how shocking.

  6. Snap, my post got on CPAC (wary)

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