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[Phil]Life Tips With Shaboomboom/Updates From a Memo Man[Osophy]

Hello All!

Thanks to an idea by Fort57 I have decided to start doing two different columns:

1. Life Tips With Shaboomboom  &
2.Updates From a Memo Man

Tonight, for the grand opening, I’ll do both!

Warning: Paint Pictures Ahead

LIFE TIPS WITH SHABOOMBOOM: How To Pour Cereal

Welcome to the first installment of “Life Tips With Shaboomboom.” I’m your host, Phil Osophy, and tonight I will be showing all of your penguins how to pour cereal!

What You’ll Need:
-1 Box of Cereal
-1 Bowl that can hold cereal
-1 Chainsaw

Step 1: Open the box. If you can’t break the cardboard with your fingers a chainsaw is suggested

Step 2: Open the plastic bag. If you can’t break this I hope you have the chainsaw still handy, use it again

Step 3: Get that bowl ready, make sure it opens upwards

Step 4: Open your mouth in a surprised face

Step 5: Tilt the box at a 180 angle with the opening of the box touching your mouth

Step 6: Chew & Swallow

Step 7: Enjoy

And there you go! That’s how to pour cereal properly. If you’d like a video tutorial you can find it here:

———————–

Updates From a Memo Man

Welcome to the first installment of “Updates From a Memo Man”. I am your Memo Man, Phil Osophy.

8:00 a.m.: Realized I had lost my pants, went searching
8:30 a.m.: Gave up on pants and tried to eat breakfast. Chainsaw was outta gas so ate leftover Sweet & Sour Cat.
8:45 a.m.: Started hunt for pants again. Put out missing posters with a reward of a pair of socks.
9:30 a.m.: Realized that penguins don’t need pants and I never actually owned a pair of pants.
9:45 a.m.: Tried to put contacts in, put them in backwards.
10:00 a.m.: Started work delivering Memos. Most Memos about new TPS cover sheet.
12:00 p.m.: Ate at the pizza parlor. Ordered pepperoni but got sprinkles with chocolate sauce instead.
3:00 p.m.: Saved a baby owl from certain death.
5:00 p.m.: Tried to make dinner, burned the curtains.
5:30 p.m.: Stopped fire and cleaned up “dinner.”
6:00 p.m.: Tried to make toast, burned the toaster. Gave up and went to watch Ellen.
10:00 p.m.: Threw rocks at neighbor’s house and blamed on hooligans.
11:00 p.m.: Dressed up dog in people clothes and took video. Instant youtube hit.
12:00 a.m.: Went to bed.

—————————————-

Well, I hope you enjoyed both programs, comment any questions, opinions, suggests (life tips) or whatnot in the comment section below!

~Shaboomboom

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34 Responses

  1. What the hell is this

    • art

  2. the fact that “Saved an owl from certain death” will fly over the heads of most active soldiers is simultaneously fascinating and horrifying to me

    and it was a baby owl. Jeesh, Shab, get it right

    • Fixed, can’t believe I got that wrong….

  3. lol. Cool post!

  4. mfw learning proper way to pour cereal

    • use game of thrones memes

  5. Reblogged this on darkwarriorscnr and commented:
    Wtf is this

  6. LOL

  7. I CANT EAT CEREAL MY CHAINSAW BROKE :(

  8. Instructions weren’t clear enough, got dick stuck in toaster.

  9. Dat Memo Man’s weekend doe.

  10. I’m disappointed no one has gotten the Office Space reference

  11. keep ur acp humour on acp site

    • None of this is ACP humor (well the baby owl is but that’s like 6 years old)

  12. The only part I liked is the HowToBasic video.

  13. ‘How to pour cereal video’ was great

    • No. That was stupid, but not as boring as actually doing it right. Also, why the heck did Shab start this ‘Life Tips’ series? We know how to take care of our penguin-like selves.

      • Why are you asking me

  14. lol

  15. I really really really would have thought this post would have said to be 20 and no job no girlfriend and main on acp

    • Can I assume that you’re trying to say that you would have thought the Life of a Memo Man would have been about being 20, having no job, no girlfriend, and being main on ACP?

      I’m not sure how you can assume that stuff of me, you hardly know me. If you did you would know how silly you sound.

      Though I’m not really sure how main on ACP has any connection to the other things but I’m willing to look past it.

      In closing, this post was an amusing joke, don’t take stuff so seriously. Is this post so good that you have to insult the maker of this post rather than the post itself? If so, you probably shouldn’t be making comments like that on here in the first place, just track me down on ACP chat and tell me to my face.

      Ya coward.

      • If im that silly, why are you paying attention to my comments?

        • Cause they’re on MY post.

      • “track me down on a virtual chat room over the internet intended for CP armies and tell me to my face”

        Seems legit.

        • I’ll give you the glaring of a lifetime if you keep this up

          • srry Godfather Shab :(

  16. Reblogged this on Club Penguin Satire Club.

  17. directions weren’t clear enough, i got my dick stuck in the chainsaw.

  18. This post is shit. Keep your shit ACP humor off of CPAC.

    • yeah, fuck you shab

  19. This is the biggest piece of shit I have ever seen. You need to close your laptop and give up on life.

    • br0 hangout wit me after i get wasted and eat taco bell. i guarantee you’ll be changing your tune about the biggest piece of shit after that

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